Posted by: the warrioress | March 1, 2012

Sexuality and the Single Christian

Our Lord Jesus Christ

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It’s really hard to be a single Christian today in the times we’re living in. When I say “single” Christian, I am including the separated, widowed, and divorced underneath this umbrella.

We single Christians are unmarried and that is what differentiates us from our wedded fellows. We have no legal companion or spouse. We are on our own and life can be stressful when one is forging through it with only the Lord Jesus Christ and God our Father as the loves of our life (sexually-speaking only).

Many times, we are fulfilled by simply turning to the Lord in our loneliness, desires, and needs. The Apostle Paul even discussed turning to God when lonely and unfulfilled. He basically said that if sexuality was an issue, we must marry.

Unfortunately, we cannot all marry these days. Some of us are divorced and are admonished not to remarry, according to the scriptures. Some of us don’t want to marry, but don’t want to be alone either. Some of us are going through a separation through military service to our nation or possibly because there are difficulties within our marriages; maybe marital abuse has become an unfortunate fact of life with our former spouse. There are countless situations I could mention here, each one unique and particular. Thankfully, God knows them all.  

Marriage Day

My point is intentionally vague but is meant to offer hope, inspiration, and love to all of you who struggle. God knows our struggles, single Christians. He hears our cries. He understands our loneliness, and the many moods and desires of our hearts. He is the answer to all we are going through. He will bring us through these storms of life in tact. We must never worry or fret that He won’t.
Jesus Christ knew exactly what it was to be a human being with the desires and temptations we endure. Never did Jesus condemn the sexual sinner. He simply said, “go and sin no more…” Jesus was not a condemning individual. He loves every single one of us and understands our struggles because of His own humanity. Despite His obvious divinity, Jesus knows where we are coming from.
God knows the heart. He knows YOUR heart. Your heart is key to God’s understanding and patience with you. Reach out to our Father in Heaven and lean on Him when you struggle internally with your body, desires of the flesh, and internal needs. Search your soul, spend time in prayer, and come to a place of rest and peace in Him. He wants this for each one of us and He will provide it!
There are answers that differ for each one of us because we are unique in Him and our paths are differing and varied. Trust God. Lean not onto your own understanding but seek His will. He will not be far from making Himself clear, I promise.
In the interim, attempt some of the following excellent readings and see if they might help. God bless you in Jesus Christ our Lord.


  1. Appreciate your thoughts!

  2. Two things, if I may:

    First, I really feel for you in your situation. You are a vibrant woman with the same needs and desires that just about every woman (and man) has, yet you find yourself immersed in a belief system that denies you the fulfillment of these needs.

    If you were anyone else, I’d encourage you to get out there and start dating – to look for a meaningful relationship. But it seems you’ve resigned yourself to a life of solitude because of what effectively amounts to an obscure law intended for people who lived thousands of years ago. This, to be honest, is tragic to me. You could be making someone very happy, and they could be making you very happy, too.

    Perhaps if you meet the right person, you’ll change your mind…

    Second, on a more technical note, let me repeat the following statement from your post: “We are on our own and life can be stressful when one is forging through it with only the Lord Jesus Christ and God our Father as the loves of our life.”

    With ONLY the Lord Jesus Christ?

    You give the game away with this statement, I think. God is a being with such grand names and such powerful connotations, yet you talk about him as if he were a pet goldfish! And this is entirely understandable: God is not visible and doesn’t speak, so how could he possibly be a suitable substitute for a real person? He can’t.

    Much as the rest of your post attempts to convince the reader of the solace of Jesus, then, you cannot quite recover from those initial words “with only”. Those words acknowledge that no matter how big and powerful you believe God to be, he cannot fill the space that an ordinary human being can.

  3. And I appreciate your comment (hug) 🙂

  4. The post is entitled “Sexuality and the Single Christian.” This isn’t a post that is written particularly for the nun or priest. (lol).

    It is within that context that I said “With ONLY the Lord Jesus Christ….” no other. Obviously we cannot have sex with God/Jesus Christ. We are not going to meet sexual desires and longings in that manner. Yes, this can be stressful because God can comfort these desires of ours through His support an emotional love for us, but the needs of the flesh and desire for actual physical touch cannot be delivered through Him while we live on this earth; that is exactly what i meant and only what I meant when I made reference to what you’ve interpreted as my seeing God as a “goldfish” or someone who is sadly lacking in my life. I didn’t mean it in that way and I’m sorry you saw it like that. I’ll try to explain further..

    Personally, I’m not a nun nor have I ever been the nun type. I doubt I will ever be the nun type in the future. For me, right now, God is enough. I’ve been married in the past and am now divorced. I vacillate about remarrying in the future. I vacillate about being in another relationship, as well. Right now, God/Jesus are my life and my focus, with my primarily earthly focus upon my child and her upcoming teen age years.

    Nevertheless, I do have needs and physical desires, obviously. Thankfully, I’m of the belief that God does not condemn me for these needs, nor have I ever felt His condemnation over my desires. I think the writings I’ve suggested toward the end, along with this post, should most likely offer my stance on such matters as masturbation, etc., for the Christian.

    At any rate, I assure you, Keith, that I am not spinstering away over here in any way shape or form. (chuckle). I have some dear friends whom I adore and one in particular I’m fond of but it’s a long distance kind of fondness. It works for now, though. My focus needs to be upon my growing daughter more than anything else, except my relationship with God, of course. I’m open to whatever the Lord brings my way but I’m also quite content on my own, such as that is. I won’t tell you it’s all been roses because sometimes I’ll watch The Notebook on TV or something equally romantic and long for more, but I know this will come if it’s meant to be.

    Thanks for sharing your thoughts.. they are always very welcome here.

  5. Keith missed it with this statement: “God is invisible and cannot speak?” Jesus revealed the Father to us; “When you’ve seen Me you’ve seen the Father.” As believers we are to reveal Christ to a lost and dying world in other words when people see us hopefully we reveal the Christ In us. does God speak to His people YES He always has and always will. He is the only One who can fill the void in an empty life, yes God does give us mates but outside of my relationship with Christ and His abundant grace my marriage would soon fail. Sorry Keith, you need to know God for yourself, really know him in your heart and not just know about Him.

  6. We can depend upon God too, while we certainly cannot on mortal man. We can trust God but people will let us down and rarely meet our expectations, unlike God. You point out something so important with your comment; there is no substitute for the love of God and I have never found anything as secure or unconditional. I have already experienced a life devoid of God thru my own backslidden foolishness of the distant past. That life was empty hell and relationships didn’t even come close to satisfying my heart.

  7. I have nominated you for the Genuine Blogger Award…here is the link:

  8. Thanks, Cathy! I’m going to get caught up on this soon, I promise. I still have a couple of others I have to address as well. God bless you, hon.

  9. […] Sexuality and the Single Christian ( Speak Your Mind Freely!EmailPrintTumblrFacebookTwitterRedditStumbleUponDiggLinkedInMoreLike this:LikeBe the first to like this post. […]

  10. being a single Christian today is hard, you have more sexual temptation than ever before. There are people who will mock someone who won’t engage in pre-marital sexual relations, they think you are crazy or something and won’t understand therefore presureing you into it, some women are strong enough in their faith not to fall into this trap and men well they are visually stimulated so therefore it is harder on men whereas women are more driveb by their emotions so this is an emotional thing where they feel these feelings and most end up acting on them before they think it through and then end up in a relationship they didn’t bargain for in the first place or one that God would defanantly not approve of. We are meant to marry and if we were divorced depending on circumstances of the divorce is see not where it would be a sin to re-marry, if the relationship was abusive or there was cheating then yes those are biblical grounds for a divorce but if you divorce because you want someone else and that you are tired of the one you are with that is when divorce and re-marrying becomes sinful. This is just from what I understand and not totally set in stone if you want direct precise answers then you may turn to the best resources around and they are as follows, PRAYER, BIBLE AND YOUR LOCAL CHURCH PASTOR

  11. jrsorrow:

    “does God speak to His people YES He always has and always will. ”

    You’re speaking figuratively. I was speaking literally. God doesn’t literally speak to his followers in the way we speak to our friends and family.

    I’m sure you’ve seen people walking around talking on their cellphones. You can only hear their end of the conversation, separated by silent intervals in which the invisible partner at the other end of the line takes her turn to speak.

    I have never heard of Christians having these sort of interchanges with God. Instead, God “speaking to them” really means that they see a pretty sunset, or they find something meaningful in scripture, or a pastor says something kind to them, etc. “I feel God is really speaking to me through…”, they might say.

    What it does not usually mean is that the Christian is actually having a real conversation with a real voice. And this latter sort of conversation is what we social beings really need – what we really thrive on. God does not provide that to his believers, apparently.

  12. JRS is speaking figuratively but also tangibly in that there is a relationship that is inexplicable unless you’ve had it. It’s something that is very hard to put into words. It’s a knowing of God… it’s an assurance, a peace of mind. There is a simple “trust” that develops. It is through this that the communication develops. God speaks to us through many things and many people. He speaks through events. And then there is always the bible ..

    He spoke through the words that Jesus Christ shared with His followers.

  13. I commend you for your honesty and faithfulness to Christ. I not long ago wrote a post on the “Single Christian- God’s Gift” …. There are times other will try to deceive us, but trust in the Lord at all times even when things are a blur. Knowing God’s word allows you to face the enemy by using Scripture instead of retaliating in flesh.

    I enjoyed your post, though I am not single it was very enlightening.

    Blessings in the name of Jesus, the name above every name.


  14. The Bible has the correct view of sex

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